"Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. So laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forget quickly. Take chances,give everything and have no regrets. People change, things go wrong. But just remember, LIFE GOES ON"

First post!

I know I haven't posted anything for a VERY long time.. but this is the start of my new post! I'm going to catch up on my blog and FINALLY write some of my experiences, thoughts, and memories from Africa. Be ready cause they are coming soon!!

Fear is the Opposite of Faith

As this week began, so did the battle within myself. A battle against my fear and a need for faith.
The realization that as soon as the team leaves, Kelly and I
will be alone in Africa. Fear immediately struck me as I realized just how long we were going to be here and I found myself questioning what I was doing. I felt sick from the fear and couldn't imagine the long days ahead of me. I prayed constantly for the strength I would need because at the same moment I realized my fear, I also realized this trip is not about me. This is about those children around who are in need of encouragement. This about those girls with saddness and hopelessness written in their eyes. This is about those people around me who desperately need to feel loved. I knew then that I could not possibly allow my fear to get in the way of the work that needs to be done. Fear is the opposite of faith. I know this is a battle within myself that I will need to fight the whole time I'm here and that battle begins now. I am praying constantly for strength to reach outside of myself and become a tool in the Lord's hands. As I sat looking at pictures of the faces around me, this song came on and reminded me of my purpose here in Africa. I want to recite just one verse from the song Safe Harbors that really helped me to gain some faith.

Can you see through their disguises?

Can you hear what words won't tell?

Some are losing faith in heaven,

Cause their life's a living hell

Is there anyone to help those who have no where else to flee?

Or the only arms protecting them belong to you and me.

This is a call to arms to reach out and to hold

Evacuees from the dark

This is a call to arms to reach out and to hold

Evacuees from the dark

This is a call to arms to lead anguished souls

To safe harbors of the heart.

Can you feel the pleas of the refugees for safe harbors of the heart?

The words of this song hit me with such force. It helped me to find inner strength and motivation to forget myself and look at the need of those around me. I've seen the pain in their brown eyes and behind their beautiful smiles. They need me just as much as I need them. I pray I'll have the strength to reach out and hold them in my arms until they feel the love I have for them and the love Heavenly Father has for them.

"The story for their need for love is written in their eyes.."

In the heart of Africa

My time spent in Africa thus far has been incredible! I only wish I could find the right words to describe the experiences and feelings I have here. I realized long ago that finding words to describe this place is impossible. It still amazes me how peaceful I feel here because this place is my home. What a blessing to be able to come home once again. The first two weeks here were spent with the whole team of around 26 people. It's been so much fun to share these life changing experiences with such incredible people. I have learned and grown so much from their examples to me. They left on Monday and all though the house is quite now, I still feel their spirit here with me. Communication is finally becoming easier out here and I promise to post some pictures and experiences soon. I can't wait to share a part of my experience with you. Since the team left Kelly and I have been thrown straight into the heart of Africa. We are the only white people for miles around and we can feel it! It's strange though, although I am suddenly very aware of my skin color all I can think about is how well my heart matches with those around me. I feel so blessed to interact with these people. They have become my new family. We all see the same sky and wish upon the same stars. They may not speak the same language as me or eat the same foods, but we are bonded by the love we feel here and towards each other. I am so grateful. As stated by my dear friend Sue Krupa Grey, "The sameness of the human heart is God's most beautiful artwork. What we choose to see and find in each other is usually what we become."

Africa here I come..

Here I sit preparing to embark on the journey of a lifetime. After much planning and pondering, I can't believe the time has finally come for me to return home to Africa again. This time I am blessed with the opportunity of staying not just three weeks, but three months. I hope and pray that I am spiritually prepared enough to really engulf myself into my work over there. It's hard for me to fathom that I will be living in Africa for three months. I'm not sure what to expect or how to prepare, but all I know is my heart tells me it's the right thing. I know there will be heartache and trials, but then I know there must be in order for this experience to truly change lives. I cannot express in words my gratitude for this incredible opportunity. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has led me to do this amazing work. I am so grateful to my parents for the love and support they show me. I am so grateful for the hard work and support of Gloria Terry and Vicki Stone (founders of Africa is Life Changing). Without them, this dream could never have become a reality. I pray that I may be used as a tool in the Lord's hands to help those that I come in contact with. I know my life will be changed through this experience and I just pray that I may change the life of someone else as well as they feel the love Heavenly Father has for them.

Favorite things about Hawaii..

This post is dedicated to my favorite things about Hawaii.. Oh what a great place! I will miss it!

1. Skydiving in Hawaii.. So beautiful!

2. Jumping off Waimea rock.. actually Waimea Beach in general is just my favorite!!
3. The fact that riding in the back of the truck is legal in Hawaii!! hee hee Gotta love that hitchhiking!

4. The amazingly beautiful sunsets..
5. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the mountains in Hawaii.. they are breath taking!!

6. Plumeria flowers.. I love the way they smell and look. They are my favorite! I loved putting them in my hair everyday :)

7. The best restaurant in Hawaii.. Hukilau Cafe :)

8. Of course the beautiful beaches and ocean..

9. ... well obviously the person I will miss the most :)

10. The beautiful wildlife! besides the dang roosters.. I won't miss those!

My time spent in Hawaii was so so great! I will really miss it and I hope to go back and graduate from BYU Hawaii. What a great experience! One I will always treasure!

April Fool's Day fun!

So a new prank war has now broken out at BYUH ever since April Fool's Day.. Here some of the pranks we did on April Fool's Day.. There's many more to come! :)



We took this oh so ANNOYING alarm clock that makes monkey noises instead of normal alarm noises and placed it under KallyRae's bed set to go off at 2:30 in the morning..


Hee hee we put IcyHot on the toilet seats in the Hale bathrooms ha ha.. classic.

Michelle put my toothbrush in a block of ice! Yes I couldn't brush my teeth that night!

We also put some flour in my friend's hairdryer..I stole my friend's fish which she didn't notice was missing for two days ha ha and we REALLY wanted to catch a rooster and put it in my friend's closet.. but haven't successfully caught one yet. Any ideas on how to get one? Lucy's stuff has all been locked in her closet and KallyRae's bed has been seran wrapped.. ha ha so fun! The battle continues to rage as more pranks are brewing in the head! Brilliant! Love pranks!

Pranksters!

Throughout my life I have ALWAYS loved to pull pranks. I just couldn't help myself. Even as a young child I was always scheming up new plots and oh they were good!! Well ever since a certain "incident" last summer where one prank went bad, I committed to stop pulling pranks and haven't since. Well with April's Fool Day oh so close and some inspiration from some dear friends I have found a new desire within me to start some pranking again! Watch out people!! You may wonder where this inspiration comes from.. well it's from the pranks that have been pulled on me. Just last night my dear friend KallyRae decided to be sneaky and snatched my bike while I wasn't paying attention at my friend's dorm. After noticing it's disappearance, Lucy and I began searching for it. Bikes tend to get stolen a lot at BYU (Yeah I know! Crazy eh?) so I was a little less than surprised mine got stolen. We went to check the security cameras and sure enough we saw someone walking out the door with my bike! Of course we couldn't tell who it was because the camera only showed the person from behind.. useless cameras. Well as Lucy and I went out to go chase the person down on foot (yeah we're smart:)) KallyRae finally exposed herself. Good prank KallyRae! The battle is on now! I feel a renewed strength and desire within me. Like a part of me that has been lost is returning. I can't help but sit and scheme in my mind all these brilliant prank ideas to pay KallyRae back and maybe even attack a few other people along the way :) Oh yes this April Fool's Day is going to be a good one! Thinking back on other pranks done on me throughout this year, I can't help but want to pay back the favor to my dear friends.. boy oh boy am I going to have fun!

My New Motto..

“Better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat”

Happy St Patty's Day! :)

A bad diagnosis..

Well I seem to have the most ROTTEN luck with my feet. Somehow they are always injured.. there's either massive blisters, falling off toenails, slivers needing to medically be dug out, or some kind of sprained ankle. Well so as luck would have last week during soccer practice I somehow managed to BREAK my foot. It's not a big break.. just a little chunk came off of my metatarsal. When it happened I thought I must have merely bruised it so I kept playing regardless.. probably not smart. The next day it turned blue and purple and started swelling. I couldn't exactly walk so I told my coach I couldn't come to practice that day. She had me go see the trainers to see what they thought was wrong with my foot. Well the trainers sent me to the Kahuku hospital for an x-ray and it showed my fractured bone.
If you look at the metatarsal of my big toe you can see the little chunk that broke COMPLETELY off.. I was thoroughly disappointed by this point. A BROKEN foot!! How could this happen! It was barely hit and suddenly it's broken! Ugh.. just my luck. Well so the hospital in Kahuku decided to send me to a doctor in Honolulu to see if I had to get a pin stuck in it so it wouldn't move around too much. I went to that doctor today and GOOD NEWS I don't need a pin! Yay! He did however tell me that I can't play soccer for TWO MONTHS!!!!! I couldn't believe it! He said I can't risk having something hitting my toe and stopping the scare tissue from healing between the bone completely. I asked him if I could play if I just kicked with the other foot... he said no. I can't even run for 4 weeks! What am I supposed to do for 4 weeks!!!!? Who really needs that chunk of bone anyway huh?!? I obviously am out for the rest of the season and I am VERY sad.... granted there is only 3 weeks of the season left but still... I am officially the cripple of the team. Not something I particularly ever wanted to become but what can you do.. For now I'm stuck doing cycling workouts with a blue foot!This photo doesn't quite show my foot's true colors, but it looks something like that. What bummer. No more soccer. No more running.

Tsunami!!

Yesterday was an very interesting day for me. It was nearly 6 am and I had hardly slept a wink because I was too nervous for my upcoming soccer tournament. I had to be up at 7 am and was desperately trying to get any sleep I could. Suddenly Michelle's phone goes off and I couldn't think of who could possibly be calling her so early. Well it was our relief society president calling to tell us there was a Tsunami warning and we needed to pack up our valuables and important documents and head for higher ground. Well this news really woke me right up. I began feeling quite freaked out as I checked my phone and saw I had several missed calls and texts from people warning me about the Tsunami. My tournament was obviously canceled. :( At about this same time an eerie sound could be heard outside our apartment. I was the warning siren blaring throughout the city. As I looked out the window at the ominous scene before me everything seemed so surreal. The dark clouds and rain hitting the ground accompanied by the sirens left me feeling scared. Michelle and I hurriedly tore apart our apartment trying to get all we could to a higher place so it wouldn't be destroyed by the water. We live right on the beach and couldn't take any chances. We packed some food and headed to the Stake Center to find out where to go. Our bishop drove us to the temple and told us to climb up to the hill behind the temple where hundreds of people in the community were camping out. I couldn't believe it was really happening, but by this point I was surprisingly calm. As we sat up there for about an hour, I realized this was going to be an all day thing and I needed a book for entertainment. Michelle agreed to walk back with to our apartment to retrieve my book. As we walked the opposite direction of everyone else and towards the oncoming Tsunami, the looks we got from people were priceless. We still had 3 hours before the Tsunami was going to hit so I wasn't honestly too worried despite the ongoing sirens in the background. After getting my book and locking everything back up, we headed back up the hill and sat down to wait with everyone else. Besides answering the calls and texts of concerned loved ones from back home I had nothing to entertain myself with so I was grateful for my book. We ended up sitting on that hill for a grand total of 6 1/2 hours and I really really grateful for my book by then. The predicted time for the Tsunami came and went with no sign of a large wave. We had to rely on whatever we heard from others for updates on what was going on so of course none of it was very clear. We sat in wonder for what turned out to be a pretty anticlimactic day. Although I am SO grateful that nothing did end up happening, I was almost looking forward to seeing the grand Tsunami just to experience it and see what it would look like. As I sat there I struggled to even imagine what it would be like. I think the freakishness of the morning was enough though. Waking up to sirens blaring across the state and rushing to mountains was unnerving enough and gave me a pretty good sense of what it would feel like to really live through a Tsunami. My mom insists she predicted this happening and told me I should learn to listen to her when she says I shouldn't live away from home. Mom always knows best!

Lessons of gratitude

After some prodding from my dear friend Kristin and an interesting experience today, I decided to update my blog once again:
Every once in a while Heavenly Father decides to step in and humble me in life and make me realize the immense blessings I have. I have had the great opportunity this year to play for the women's soccer team here at BYU Hawaii. Playing college soccer has always been my dream. I never thought I would have the opportunity to do it and yet here I am, out playing soccer with an awesome team and coach. I love it! I've never hard to work as hard in my life as I do now. As with most hard things in life, it gets exhausting. I found myself beginning to dread the daily 2-3 hour practices. I would complain and moan and roll around on the floor just to show my disgust. I knew once I got there I would enjoy it and I always felt so great after the hard workout. Well today was no different. I found myself hesitant to go to practice. I show up to practice and as I began warming up my coach comes up to me and says Dawn (the NCAA regulations lady) called her today and told her I wasn't eligible to play.. WHAT? She was working things out but said I might not be able to play in tomorrow's games. .. I was devastated! I couldn't believe that after all this time I suddenly wasn't eligible. I couldn't help but think that I would suddenly be kicked off the team. Today was my last practice with the girls.. so long dream... goodbye soccer.. I realized just how distraught I became at the thought of no longer being able to play whereas just minutes earlier I was griping because I had to practice. I could picture myself bidding the team farewell..Well throughout practice I wanted to make the most of it. I wanted to have the most fun and work my hardest.. after all this was my last practice with the team! Well as it turns out there was no problem with the eligibility. Dawn called back and said I was fine. Relief swept over me. I was safe. I could still play!! Boy what a lesson I learned though! I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to play college soccer. Playing soccer at this level is a whole new experience and I realize I need to embrace EVERY moment of it! I'm so grateful to have a strong, healthy body so I can play and live my dream. I'm also so so so grateful for the little lessons in life that teach me to be humble and grateful. Heavenly Father gives me so many blessings and He is my everything!

Walden- Henry David Thoreau

I'm currently reading this book and couldn't help but post a few quotes from it.

"I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion."

"It is never too late to give up our prejudices"

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

"Every path but your own is the path of fate. Keep on you own track, then."

"The universe is wider than our views of it."

"In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."

The Dash

By: Linda Ellis

There was a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came her date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash stands for all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars the house the cash
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

We'd be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your lifes actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Cos that dash stands for all the time
That you spent alive on earth
And only those who loved you
Know what that little line is worth

It matters not how much you own
The cars the house the cash
What matters is how you live and love
And how you spend your dash

What matters is how you live and love
And how you spend your dash.

January..

Okay so besides my ode to Bum I decided to really write and update you all on what's been going on this last month. I can't believe how fast January has gone by. I'm in a new apartment living with one of my best friends Michelle and we are having a blast. January has been an interesting month full of ups and downs. School is busy, but going by fast. I'm trying out for the soccer team here at BYUH and I've been practicing with the team so that has been really fun! It's lots of hard work, but of course it's worth it. Well to start off I had the opportunity to talk to Rachel a few weeks ago on the phone. It was great to hear from her! We thought she might have to come home from her mission since she's been having some problems with her joints, but as it turns out she can stay out there. The doctors have determined that she has Lupas, an autoimmune disease that affects your joints, but she has a positive attitude and isn't letting that keep her from doing the Lord's work. I'm immensely proud of her and was so excited to talk to her. I found out I am going to Africa this coming May again and I plan on staying to live there until August. I can't wait to go back to my second home. Africa means so much to me and I can't believe I have the chance to actually live there. My best friend Kelly is going with me and I am so excited to share this life changing experience with her. I just found out the people out there need dustless chalk so I'm starting a collection of dustless chalk. If any of you want to donate some you'll be directly benefiting the African children at our school, St. Catherines. Please let me know! Out here in Hawaii I've had some chances to go on some neat adventures including a hike called Stairway to Heaven. It's beautiful hike with literal stairs going straight up the mountain. It was really tough, but so worth it. We got to the top just before sunrise and the sight was breathtaking. Only god could create something as beautiful as that. It's rainy season here in Hawaii so you all know what that means. MUD! Yep I get to play all the mud football I want out here and I love it! I've been getting the chance to play in the mud a lot and of course that always makes any week a good one. This month I have been finding out some bad news about some really close friends. I just found out my dear friend has breast cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with her through this difficult time. I've been talking to another friend about her choice to leave the church. As hard as it is to stand by and watch her do it, I understand. Life changes quickly and you just have to embrace it as it goes by. Well those are the updates thus far. It's hard to believe so much has happened in only a month and yet it's gone by so quickly.

Ode To Bum!

I'm posting this blog to write an ode to my dear friend Bum. Bum the cat was such a good little cat. He passed on a few months ago, but it feels as if it's been ages! He was 22 years old and every time I see a different cat they just don't compare to sweet little Bum! Goodbye sweet Bum! We will always remember you! He's in a better place now..

Some things I'm grateful for..

-I’m grateful for friends in my life to remind me of who I really am and who I want to be. I am blessed with some of the greatest friends and examples in my life. I know that the friends I have in my life are not by chance. They were all put here to help me and for me to help them. We all learn from each other and love one another.

-I am grateful for the love that surrounds me in my life. The love of family and friends that surpasses anything I could ever have hoped for. I am grateful for the power of that love to overcome any trial or tragedy. The love shown to me uplifts and strengthens me. I would be nothing without that love. Love is the universal element in this world. We all have the capacity to love and to be loved. How blessed we all are to have such a merciful God to provide us with this love and to be our example of perfect love.

-I am grateful for the things that enrich my life like music, art, and culture. Music is the heart’s way of expressing itself. There is no other way to describe it. Music uplifts and inspires me in ways that nothing else can. Often times I find myself wanting to jump up and shout because of the way music makes my heart soar. Often times, moments of deepest thought and meditation come when music is there to set my soul and mind free. It releases me from the filth and grim of the world and sets me higher, in a place where I am free. Art has the same power to release the inner soul’s thoughts. I am so grateful to be able to draw and paint so that I may better express the things inside of me in such a therapeutic way. Art can tell so many different stories to so many different people. It can be exactly what you want it to be at any time

Sisters Forever

I was just looking through some of the old videos Rachel and I made and I couldn't help but post at least one. We were so crazy. I think we had a little too much fun..