Fear is the Opposite of Faith

As this week began, so did the battle within myself. A battle against my fear and a need for faith.
The realization that as soon as the team leaves, Kelly and I
will be alone in Africa. Fear immediately struck me as I realized just how long we were going to be here and I found myself questioning what I was doing. I felt sick from the fear and couldn't imagine the long days ahead of me. I prayed constantly for the strength I would need because at the same moment I realized my fear, I also realized this trip is not about me. This is about those children around who are in need of encouragement. This about those girls with saddness and hopelessness written in their eyes. This is about those people around me who desperately need to feel loved. I knew then that I could not possibly allow my fear to get in the way of the work that needs to be done. Fear is the opposite of faith. I know this is a battle within myself that I will need to fight the whole time I'm here and that battle begins now. I am praying constantly for strength to reach outside of myself and become a tool in the Lord's hands. As I sat looking at pictures of the faces around me, this song came on and reminded me of my purpose here in Africa. I want to recite just one verse from the song Safe Harbors that really helped me to gain some faith.

Can you see through their disguises?

Can you hear what words won't tell?

Some are losing faith in heaven,

Cause their life's a living hell

Is there anyone to help those who have no where else to flee?

Or the only arms protecting them belong to you and me.

This is a call to arms to reach out and to hold

Evacuees from the dark

This is a call to arms to reach out and to hold

Evacuees from the dark

This is a call to arms to lead anguished souls

To safe harbors of the heart.

Can you feel the pleas of the refugees for safe harbors of the heart?

The words of this song hit me with such force. It helped me to find inner strength and motivation to forget myself and look at the need of those around me. I've seen the pain in their brown eyes and behind their beautiful smiles. They need me just as much as I need them. I pray I'll have the strength to reach out and hold them in my arms until they feel the love I have for them and the love Heavenly Father has for them.

"The story for their need for love is written in their eyes.."

In the heart of Africa

My time spent in Africa thus far has been incredible! I only wish I could find the right words to describe the experiences and feelings I have here. I realized long ago that finding words to describe this place is impossible. It still amazes me how peaceful I feel here because this place is my home. What a blessing to be able to come home once again. The first two weeks here were spent with the whole team of around 26 people. It's been so much fun to share these life changing experiences with such incredible people. I have learned and grown so much from their examples to me. They left on Monday and all though the house is quite now, I still feel their spirit here with me. Communication is finally becoming easier out here and I promise to post some pictures and experiences soon. I can't wait to share a part of my experience with you. Since the team left Kelly and I have been thrown straight into the heart of Africa. We are the only white people for miles around and we can feel it! It's strange though, although I am suddenly very aware of my skin color all I can think about is how well my heart matches with those around me. I feel so blessed to interact with these people. They have become my new family. We all see the same sky and wish upon the same stars. They may not speak the same language as me or eat the same foods, but we are bonded by the love we feel here and towards each other. I am so grateful. As stated by my dear friend Sue Krupa Grey, "The sameness of the human heart is God's most beautiful artwork. What we choose to see and find in each other is usually what we become."